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GERANIUMS [Apr. 25th, 2007|11:16 am]
[mood |deviousdevious]

Hello everyone in Livejournal Land, you should all listen to Joel's internet radio show 'The Breakdown', which is this afternoon from 4 - 6 at www.sheffieldlive.org, as I will be on it a bit too, and anyone who listened in a fortnight ago to my debut performance will know that it's likely to be a treat for the ears. Quite like having your ear licked by a cow. 
Goodnight one and all, I love everyone of you!

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(no subject) [Mar. 29th, 2007|09:53 am]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]

Hello, people of the world.
I've not posted anything for ages, partly because I've not had the internet for a few months, and partly because events have been such that I could not write of them whilst simultaneously being true to my pledge to protect the innocent. I'm sure you all understand.
Anyway, the main reason for this post is that my phone has gone loopy and deleted most of my phonebook (twice now), so I would most certainly like it lots if you could text me (my number's still the same) saying who you are, or something like that, so I can have your numbers again.
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Suff. [Feb. 1st, 2007|10:53 am]
[Current Location |One step beyond.]
[mood |busy]

itom,  your phone and wallet have been deposited in my kitchen by Trudi, if you remember where I live, feel free to come pick them up, or let me know somehow what it is you want that I should be doing with them. Thankyou.
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(no subject) [Jan. 15th, 2007|10:55 pm]
[Current Location |damp attic]
[mood |boredbored]

I climbed up the ladder to the attic with a fag behind my ear and a cup of tea in my hand.  This task was completed successfully, but when I lent forward to put the tea down on the table the fag fell from behind my ear and landed in the tea, which made me laugh which made me spill the tea all over the place.
I am a chump.

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(no subject) [Jan. 15th, 2007|06:40 pm]
[Current Location |Attic]
[mood |ditzyditzy]

I have a little problem. No, not that. 
The internet in our house has been broken, but now seems to be fixed, so hooray for that, but now it seems that we can't access Hotmail or, the horror, Myspace. Other than the possibilty that our router has developed taste and thus will not let us spend hours aimlessly wading through silly networking sites that we're really too old for, what could be occuring?
Other than that, all is well, apart from the things that are shit and the things that I'm ambivalent about.
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Sex aids from Granny! [Dec. 25th, 2006|07:21 pm]
[Current Location |parent's]
[mood |disappointeddisappointed]

I thought my Gran had given me a double dildo for Christmas, but it turned out to be a 'banana guard', enabling me to transport bananas when out and about without fear of them becoming bruised and mushy. I think I hid my disappointment admirably.
Happy December 25th all you people out there! 

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One bullet per person. [Dec. 2nd, 2006|03:23 pm]
[Current Location |Out]
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]

I am confused and annoyed.
On wednesday I got a letter from Howden House saying that they were suspending payments of my housing benefit because my rent had significantly decreased, and they had reason to believe that I had been lying for the past 14 months, and claiming that my rent was three times higher than it actually was. I was slightly perturbed by this, as my rent hasn't changed at all recently, or at any point since I moved here, about 14 months ago, and I've always been totally honest about how much I pay.
So, I takes all me bits of relevant paper down to Howden House, and I sits there for ages till a lady takes me to an office, she looks at my bits (of paper), and she rubs her chin, and then she says
"Ah, I see what we've done here."
What they'd done was, when reviewing my claim about a month ago,  was to read the figure that me and my two housemates pay, the three of us,  on one form, then write it on another form, FORGETTING TO DIVIDE IT BY THREE as the amount of rent I say I have to pay. Can you see what they did there? Can you? So then someone else looks at the form I filled in about a month ago that asked my rent, and it looks like my rent has suddenly been reduced by two thirds, and they smell a rat.
Ok, so on wednesday they admit their mistake, they say sorry a lot, etc., I am annoyed but chuckle a bit and carry on with my week.
This morning I get a letter saying that due to my "recent change in circumstances" they are suspending further payments of housing benefit. The letter doesn't say what this supposed change in circumstances is, but as far as I am aware the only change in my circumstances is that I'm A LOT MORE FUCKING ANGRY AT THE BENEFITS SERVICE.
Anyway, rant over. Bye bye, have a nice day.  
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(no subject) [Nov. 15th, 2006|05:13 pm]
[Current Location |Back in the S.H.E.F.F.I.E.L.D.]
[mood |groggygroggy]

Yesterday, I went to work in the morning, saw ichthyin his graduation frock and met his lovely family in the afternoon, then went for a quiet drink with a boy called Kris in the evening, which took us to three nightclubs and then to Nottingham on the 6 o'clock train this morning to see mervin and a lovely girl called Fay,  who sadly had no milk.  Just got home now,  funny old day really.
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(no subject) [Nov. 13th, 2006|10:39 pm]
[Current Location |Just to the left of you.]
[mood |boredbored]

Can I have a hug please?
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Plummet [Nov. 10th, 2006|01:18 pm]
[Current Location |Above ground.]
[mood |nauseatednauseated]
[music |Grinding of fractured shinbones.]

I fell down a manhole last night. 
If one has to break both one's legs, would it not be better to find a less hackneyed form of slapstick to accomplish the task? What, short of slipping on a banana skin, could have displayed less imagination? I am sickened, even my clumsiness is uninspired.
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